A Real Life Begins

Being numb is to be invisible  
Asleep to yourself and any kind of promise
Choosing to feel nothing
is sometimes the best you can do

Being afraid
is better than being numb
But being afraid slowly drains
the life right out of you
until all that is left
is something small
Nobody can see in
It’s still better than the nothingness

Feeling angry
is bigger and better than being afraid
But being angry is exhausting
and scares the chickens
But at least you feel you are alive
at least something is happening
at least it’s a start
Even if it spills out
at least people know you’re there

And somewhere after numb
somewhere between the fear and the dread
through the fury and the madness
A real life begins

Courage to move out of the numbness
ignoring the sirens, the alarm bells
the signposts warning of danger

Courage to be scared
Courage to grow big enough
to hold the rage

Courage to forgive

Courage to take your life
back from the past

Claiming
This is now
This is mine

JANE O’SHEA
from ‘Word Remedies - A Collection’