Being numb is to be invisible
asleep to yourself and any kind of promise
Choosing to feel nothing
is sometimes the best you can do

Being afraid is better than being numb
But being afraid slowly drains the life right out of you
until all that is left is something small
Nobody can see in
It’s still better than the nothingness

Feeling anger is bigger and better than being afraid
But being angry is exhausting and scares the chickens
But at least you feel you are alive
at least something is happening
at least it’s a start
Even if it spills out
at least people know you’re there

And somewhere after numb
Somewhere between the fear and dread
through the fury and the madness

A real life begins

Courage to move out of the numbness
ignoring the sirens, the alarm bells
the signpost warning of danger

Courage to be scared
Courage to grow big enough to hold the rage
Courage to forgive

Courage to take your life
back from the past

This is now
This is mine


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