MY CHILD LEAVES HOME

You tumbled into my heart
I fell hopelessly in love with you
from the first time I spied your tiny eyes
Awe and terror that something so precious
that smelled so pure
could be given into my care

I long to know that I have done good enough

I wanted so much to do it perfectly
To mother you as I was never mothered
Give you the life I had always dreamed
but real life and my humanness got in the way
If I find fault, it is not criticism of you
but my own guilt at my own failings

That I could save you from the fire of your own life
that my struggle could take away yours and
my suffering could protect you from pain

All I can do is admire you
admire you into your life
Rejoice in you, everything
Watch breath-taken as you create your world

Forgive me for my mistakes
honour me for doing the best I could
share with me all the worlds that you find
And come back to me
in the spaces between

 

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